Day fourteen

 Hello To inform you we have added a new member to are group her name is Alexa Medrano. She was
doing her blog on eating disorders so are teacher pared us up.we still don't know when we're going to record are process but I do know that we might be helping a friend for her concert benefit for self harm.

Day 14: Is there anyone you consider to be an inspiration to recover?If I can consider any one a inspiration it will probably be my favorite artist and bands. For some reason there music inspires me to get better. I hear and feel the pain that they feel and it empowers me to feel and want to get better. If I ever get the chance to meet them I want to thank them because even though they don't know there music has spoken ,what I'm not able to say there my alternative to not cutting. James Arthur,  Kings of  Leon The Vaccines, The 1975, Arctic Monkeys, Pearl Jam,The Weeks,Sam Smith, Jamie Graham, Beach house,Led Zeppelin,Aerosmith  I thank you! For helping get through this.

Days twelve and thirteen

Day 12: Where do you keep your ‘tools’?

I keep them next to my bed on my bottom drawer under all my books so no one can find. But im going to throw them away so I wont be tempted to do it.

Day 13: What is the biggest realization about self-harm that you've had?

That its pointless but i still do it  and I can't seem to that the only thing its going to leave is scars but it gets addictive once you start because it releases something that has been trapped inside of you for so long its never ending and quitting is really hard but you can  do it.I do it when I feel most lonley

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Days ten and Elven

Day 10: How do you feel about your scars?

 I think that they're just there to constantly remind me of my mistake and to show me that sometime I'm not as strong as I say I am. And that any one can break even the people that you see smiling everyday.  Bu they also give me hope because one day they will be old scars and it will show me that I can overcome everything that the universe throws at me. 

Day 11: What is the strangest place you’ve ever injured yourself?

Probably at school in my spanish class I had a pencil and just scratch at my skin until it became weak and some skin broke.

Days eight and nine

Day 8: What is the most supportive thing anyone has said to you about your self-harm?

The most supportive thing anyone has ever said to me was probably my brother’s friend he has no idea that I cut and he gave me the best advice any one can get. This boy has been through so much and not once has he ever cut himself He told me that people who cut have no idea how incredibly lucky they are that they have a body that is not sick and failing on them. That they should cherish their body. To be happy with what you have even if it sucks. Because it always gets better

Day 9: Have you ever taken pictures of your wounds? Discuss.

I have not taken a picture of my wounds nor will I ever take a picture of them that not something I want to do. I don't need a picture to remind me of what i have done. At one point I almost did but backed out.

Day Six and Seven

I apologize that I have been behind on all these I will try harder with this by uploading them Ive been busy with school and home.

Day six: What about it do you enjoy?

I think its the its the only thing that I actually have control over I get to chose when I do it. Also for  some reason I enjoy the pain it brings me. It shows me that the only person who can hurt me the most is myself that I can cause my own pain its my biggest lesson. I enjoy the fact that its the only thing in my life that seems normal and constant that its never going to change and gives me an escape,but that also scares me.

Day Seven: List 10 Activities that help you calm down.

1: Listening to Music 

2: Reading

3:singing

4: Going on Tumblr

5: watching music videos

6:Watching my Favorite youtubers

7: writing

8: Performing (I don't do it anymore)

9:eating

10: Cutting

Days four and five

Day Four: Do you consider yourself "addicted"? why or why not?

Maybelle: I really wouldn't consider myself addicted  but I'm not sure because I  do it when I'm find my self in a situation sometimes I really do depend on cuttin. its not healthy. But then I don't consider myself addicted because sometimes I do go very long period of time with out doing it so Im not sure about this one.

Day five: What part of self-harm do you dislike the most.

I think its the burden I keep on myself, feeling guilty and stupid after I do it. Not knowing if im ever going to stop is what I dislike the most. I cant stand the fact that I do it. 

Self-harm challenge day two and three

                                               Day two: What part of your body is affected most by it?
Maybelle: The body the part that is most affected is my arms and thighs. I started off with by just giving my arms little scratches with anything  that was sharp, but  I never actually cut and then when I got to my thighs I actually cut.Now i moved away from my thighs and I'm just  on my arms .
                                          Day three: What is your motivation to recover?
My motivation to recover is the fact that I don't want to become dependent on something that is not even good for me. Its just something that has become a sort of comfort for me it became like my safety blanket. I no longer want to hide my scars from people. I really don't want someone I love to walk in on me cutting myself. I don't want them to see that I'm hurting my self , even though they always hurt me is,I won't bring them this pain.

30 day Self-Harm Challenge.

This Image to me is so strong because this is literally how it feels to people when they get clean and then relapse. To them its like they where doing so good then all of a sudden something happens to them and you just panic and don't know what to do so you go back to it and you get mad at yourself because you went back to it you became dependent on a piece of metal.
Maybelle is probably going to be someone I constantly talk about because we are so close. Something that she is going to do to help her is the 30 day Self-harm Challenge hopefully this works out for her.

Day one: How long Have you been Self-harming? Discuss why you started?

I have been self-harming since the end of ninth grade. It started around March of this year I was having a lot of family problems. Usually my family is always fighting but something about this was different I was tired of it because it was all I grew up too and argumentative family we where never truly happy. Also I was starting to hear something in my head and it was scaring me reminding me of my child hood of what happened to me. I didn't really have a bad child hood growing up  but I did get bullied not at school but at home by my family members. They would make fun of me for being fat and ugly so that's what I grew up believing. One day it all just got caught up with me and I cracked  and pull the blade across my thigh.

20% project week 2

This week we have gathered some stories. Please note that the names of the people have been changed  in order to protect their identity.
 
Maybelle's Stoy,
  My name is Maybelle , I use to be happy and look at the sky now I see darkness it consumes me everyday. I wonder how I got this way then i see it , it haunts me in my nightmares. The way he touched me , the way he pulls me into the room. Sometimes i wonder what would have happen if I never went in there with him, that this darkness would not be consuming me. I see people smiling and I envy them I see girls happy with themselves and saying that they are beautiful.The voices in my head are telling me I'm nothing. I sit there and I cry in the bathroom telling them to be quiet begging them. Why cant they just leave me alone? Why do they come? Who will save me? No one that always the answer no one can save the only person that can save me is myself,but I don't even like my self I blame myself for going in that room but who was I to know he was going to do that i was only Five years old. I craved to feel some type of emotion that day I was in the bathroom. It was the day my dad hit me I felt good to feel that pain that the belt brought me I felt something. I want to continue to feel something I wanted my emotions to come out so I took that razor and I put it across my skin . My family walked in and I quickly covered my self and told them to get out and leave me alone.That was they day that changed everything. I told myself that i would never to that again.
   I was wrong I panic and I need something to take the panic away I look for something sharp.I was a helpless little girl that people would call names every time I cut, I look at the scars on my legs and then look at the little scars on my arm .And wonder if I'm ever going to stop.I'm just looking for my savior someone that will show that I don't always have to be scared when I get touched someone that will show me that he loves me and will actually care if I chose to end my life but that someone does not come so I'm left alone like always.
    Maybelle is a very close person to me she is getting better every single day I see her progress and I'm proud. She still the scared little girl in that room but now she growing and she thinks that she has hope. She still hers the voices sometime but she chooses to ignore them.