20% project week 2

This week we have gathered some stories. Please note that the names of the people have been changed  in order to protect their identity.
 
Maybelle's Stoy,
  My name is Maybelle , I use to be happy and look at the sky now I see darkness it consumes me everyday. I wonder how I got this way then i see it , it haunts me in my nightmares. The way he touched me , the way he pulls me into the room. Sometimes i wonder what would have happen if I never went in there with him, that this darkness would not be consuming me. I see people smiling and I envy them I see girls happy with themselves and saying that they are beautiful.The voices in my head are telling me I'm nothing. I sit there and I cry in the bathroom telling them to be quiet begging them. Why cant they just leave me alone? Why do they come? Who will save me? No one that always the answer no one can save the only person that can save me is myself,but I don't even like my self I blame myself for going in that room but who was I to know he was going to do that i was only Five years old. I craved to feel some type of emotion that day I was in the bathroom. It was the day my dad hit me I felt good to feel that pain that the belt brought me I felt something. I want to continue to feel something I wanted my emotions to come out so I took that razor and I put it across my skin . My family walked in and I quickly covered my self and told them to get out and leave me alone.That was they day that changed everything. I told myself that i would never to that again.
   I was wrong I panic and I need something to take the panic away I look for something sharp.I was a helpless little girl that people would call names every time I cut, I look at the scars on my legs and then look at the little scars on my arm .And wonder if I'm ever going to stop.I'm just looking for my savior someone that will show that I don't always have to be scared when I get touched someone that will show me that he loves me and will actually care if I chose to end my life but that someone does not come so I'm left alone like always.
    Maybelle is a very close person to me she is getting better every single day I see her progress and I'm proud. She still the scared little girl in that room but now she growing and she thinks that she has hope. She still hers the voices sometime but she chooses to ignore them.